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The Pain Never Goes Away

She was in bed for hours shedding tears for the reasons unknown to the world outside of her. But the inside world was not helping either. “Why me?”, she asked again and again. There was no response because there was no one to answer. Only silence. She couldn’t interpret her thoughts that rushed and entangled their threads into one another. The air was filled with unanswered questions but silence dominated. Slowly, the silence penetrated into her veins and nerves and blood..

She knew then, she was alone and she had to accept it. It is strange how life makes you do things and then let you learn lessons that are no more required, while facing the consequences on the way as well. To learn, not to execute but only learn after things have happened. Is it fair? Life is never fair.


She whispered into the silence….“What did I do wrong? If only I can make it right.” She closed her eyes and tears rolled down her cheeks. There was nothing left for her in this world now, only tears.

                                                                     K.

Deceiving Innocence!!

It is about time that we realize what reality we behold in our own selves. It is such a basic, and yet no one pays any attention. Everybody will tell us, life is tough and things happen and we have to survive, but no one knows what to do then and how to. Even our own parents would tell us to be strong through odd times and difficulties shall go away, but have we ever seen them doing it with their own situations? Why lie then?

I feel we all are just deceiving ourselves and our people too. Things go as they have to, and we just follow situations, elders, instructions and what not. Do we ever analyse things on our own? We have to, that is the most logical of all. Following the rules or instructions, is not always the way out. But oh yeah, who would let us buy this, when our own family would make us drag down the same path they walked, because it is the only way; follow instructions.

Sometimes taking risks or letting others live their moments themselves is better for them. I can’t say how much is this true for anyone out there, but it is true for most people in east, and even for most grownups who still have their elders. I am no revolutionist, but I have to survive with my own self too. The war within makes us cut the strings, but there are limits we can’t cross. And sometimes it is the only way to survive, stay attached to strings even if they strangle you to death. We act like such innocent people and let it have us in pieces.

High five to this deceiving innocence which actually kills us even through the good times.

K.

Will You Smile With Me?

Smile is what makes someone else’s world shine bright. We smile and the one who watches us smile feels refreshed at once, even a stranger. We often smile for odd reasons like denying answers with a smile, refusing to go in details with a smile, showing sarcasm with a smile, and so on. We actually very rarely smile for the sake of smiling. It is heart breaking when the actual meaning is lost within hundreds of covers that don’t even match. Ever asked yourself why is it so?

I have always loved kids. Out of many reasons, one is that they smile a lot. And that smile is genuine i.e., smile for the sake of smiling. Kids never fake smiling and if they ever do, you can always know that. For grown ups, it is hard to distinguish, for the level of learning to fake it, rises with age.

Where does this smile come from? The gesture is attached to a feeling. The feeling of happiness, acceptance, appreciation and gratitude are at some point expressed with horizontally spreading our lips wide. And there, you’ve got it.. 🙂

It is heart breaking when the actual meaning is lost within hundreds of covers that don’t even match.

We feel empty within and so do depicts our smile. We have been through stuff, we never actually share and we hide it with our smiles. For once, let us try to smile again like we used to smile as kids. Let us smile for the sake of smiling and nothing else. Will you smile with me?

K.

Eyes Lead to Hearts

When you look at a person, the first thing you unintentionally see is the face (95%) and on the face the first thing to hit are the eyes. They say it all, most people say. But there are some eyes that deceive too.

Let me narrate a little story this time; I visited a slum area for the first time back then, and there was a school meant for the underprivileged. Firstly, I loved the place to bits, and I still do. Secondly, of all the kids I couldn’t decide which kid I loved the most during my visit. But I was sure of one thing, I loved all the eyes who met mine that day. I did talk to some, others just stared or felt shy. But they couldn’t for once, hide their eyes. That one day was the best of all my days for one reason. All the stories, all the feelings and the unsaid words, I could read them, listen to them and feel them right there, right then. And it is not just with me, it would be the same with you if you visit a slum area just for the sake of communicating and nothing else. 

I felt that very day that I have found what I was born for. I could feel all my energy back and my willingness to be at that place for the children, who had their eyes laid on me for nothing but communicating, even if only through their eyes.

That day, I realized what eyes are. And those eyes will forever be engraved in my mind, for they gave me back myself to me.

Be back for more. Happy Blogging!

K.

Emotional Murder

Time flies and we watch it leave us so willingly out of the way. Sometimes we leave time too. It is hard to understand but once experienced, anything becomes possible.
 
My eyes have seen much, in quite a little time and yet it seems UNSEEN to people around me. I understand that it is not possible for everyone to understand what I seem to understand. Likewise, I may not understand what others quite clearly do understand.
 
Life has been gambling with souls for quite a time…and there have been no get-aways. “Life is so unfair” ; some might say it quite often but what we all miss out is that we are ourselves so unfair. We are fair only with what benefits us.
 
The unseen has been so cruel but the UNFELT has been the worse.
Just to avoid more pain, it all mostly remains untold. The unseen can be somehow survived, the untold be bearable but the unfelt can only take a soul away i.e., murder; emotional murder.

 

K.

The Story Begins..

Today, as I sat down to write something more, I thought of things more specific for my write up. But things never get clear until a hell is experienced. Everybody sits around calm and steady, while I deal with this tsunami of reactions, thoughts and anxiety for whatever has happened till this day. 

Let go is what they say. But let go does not mean to lose ones own self. They don’t mind if you lose yourself because that is all NOTHING but exaggeration of your own and not theirs anymore.

I always wanted to be the praised one, the best one, the most loved one…but it all has some price with it; NOTHING IS FREE. And once you agree to pay that price, the rates never get any lower instead each time the price raises to an unbearable level. And yet they stay so normal of whatever you lose for them, you have no value of your own but your actions do.

I’ll surely find better words to express once I begin to tell the story of this side of the world. Happy Reading!

K.

Start up :)

I had a vision back in times when I was young. I never knew about “vision” itself back then. I have lived my life so loud and clear under the influence of people around me. Yet I had something in me that made me look into things differently. And that I, now, recognize as “My Vision for Life”. I may be somewhat slow in realization of things or may be just slow in realization of my own self. The thing is I, now, know I have it. And now I have to understand it and use it to the utmost capacity for accomplishing what I have been given life for.

K.

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